Visiting a Scottish prison with your child
Please note that to prevent the spread of Covid 19, prison visits are currently subject to restrictions and public health measures. The information on this page may not reflect all of these measures. For the most up to date information on staying in contact with your family member during the pandemic please visit our Covid 19 guidance page, which is updated regularly in response to the latest government announcements.
Visiting a parent or relative in prison is one way a child can stay in contact with them. Carers can help children to cope with separation by making it possible for them to visit their parents or relatives in prison. If you have not been to a prison visit before, you may find it helpful to make the initial visit on your own so that you will know what to expect. This may make it easier for you to prepare the child/ren to visit.
Preparing children for a visit
It is important to prepare the child for a prison visit, especially if it’s their first time. Children may have worries about what prison is like and what to expect. Talking to the child/ren about the journey and what the prison will be like when they arrive can help.
Families Outside has developed a range of resources for children including “My Visit” , which offers children a photo guide to prison and aims to address some of the fears children may have about life inside prison. It also sets out what they can expect if they decide to go and visit. It is also available as a video tour.
Some children may not want to visit, and this should be respected, but talking to them about why they feel that way can help to reassure them.
It can be helpful to explain what will happen when they arrive:
- They may have to wait for a while
- There will be security procedures, and visitors may be searched
- There will be a lot of people in uniform
- Doors will be locked
- There will be a lot of other people visiting
- Visit rooms can sometimes be noisy and busy places
- The parent/relative will have to stay behind when you leave
You may want to find out in advance what facilities are available at the prison you are visiting such as:
- Are there play facilities in the Visitors Centre or prison visits room, and times when they are staffed?
- What types of visits are available e.g. children’s visits, family day visits, weekend, or evening visits?
- Is there anything for older children to do?
- Can the children play with their father and move around?
- What can the children take in e.g. pictures, photos, and letters?
- What about pushchairs, nappy changing, and feeding?
You may find it helpful to plan your journey, especially if you are travelling a long way.
Visits are different at each prison, and the length of the visit can vary. Tell the child/ren how long the visit will last.
When you arrive in the visits room, take time to settle the child/ren. If there is a play area, take the child there before the visit starts, so that they know it is safe for them to go again themselves during the visit.
Try to make sure the child/ren get special attention during the visit. It can be difficult for parents and chidren to play and talk as they normally would during a prison visit, especially if the visit is not a specific children’s visit and the person in prison cannot get up and move around. Stronger Families Inside Out is an initiative that was developed to help maintain strong family relationships through a variety of activities. We hope that with this booklet will give you some ideas for family games that you can play together during a prison visit or even a virtual prison visit with little or no materials required!
The time may go very quickly, and leaving their parent/relative at the end may be difficult. They may need reassurance about the next time they can be in touch, perhaps by another visit, telephone or letter. Planning when and how that will happen is important.
Let the child/ren know that it is OK to show, or to talk about how they are feeling, during or after the visit.
After the visit
It is likely that after a visit everyone will be a bit tired and may feel stressed. The child/ren may be feeling sad that they’ve had to leave their parent/relative behind. Or the visit may not have been what they expected.
It is important that you allow the children time to talk about what’s happened. Don’t worry if they are upset. Try to see this as a healthy way of expressing feelings rather than having to bottle it all up inside. Pay attention to the child/ren’s behaviour after the visit. If it is different or unusual for them, it may be their way of letting you know they need you to listen to them.
All children will cope with things differently. You may want to consider extra help or support for them, if you feel they are not coping with what’s going on.
Your health visitor or GP may be able to suggest who to contact for specific advice.
It may also be helpful to talk to their school teacher about support that the school can offer.
Where else can I get support?
Each prison has a Family Contact Officer (FCO) who should be available to talk through any concerns you may have about visiting with a child. They can be contacted at the prison through the telephone switchboard, or they may be available when you visit. Most prisons also have Visitors’ Centres or Family Help Hubs, where you can access support and information from staff. More information is available on our Visiting Prison page.
You can also call the Families Outside Support & Information Helpline on 0800 254 0088.
All information sheets are available at www.familiesoutside.org.uk All materials Copyright © Families Outside 2017. Publication date: May 2017
Families Outside is a company limited by guarantee registered In Scotland No. 236539 and is recognised as a Scottish charity by the OSCR, No. SC025366.